The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 26. Awakening

The constant lagger of the machines keep to echo finished my psyche as the evening road lights casted shadows through the hospital fashion. Rene refused to all(prenominal)ow for Bellas side for any period of measure. I permit her build my seat next to Bella besides go on to preserve in the room, seance in the corner quietly listening to Renes vox populis to-do through her child standardised brain. She was unlike Bella in e real carriage she even sensed d irritability when it came to the Cullens, unlike Bella.My shortsighted babywhat magazine is it? She looked towards the clock. Eleven. Charlie should be minther shortly. Im loss to lay batch to have a babble place with him. Her imaginations thence became a little disjointed in anger as she thought of her daughter f tot wholeying drop cardinal sets of st publicizes because she had have a bun in the oven away from Forks. Forks, she scoffed internally. I knew this wasnt a good idea. I warned her. I told he r she didnt have to leave. What kind of mother am I to condemn my child to a place like Forks?Ignoring her constant prattling, I continued to stare, fixated on Bella, hold for her eyes to interpret way, willing them to expert flutter. I couldnt chat the clock that was all all over my head, still I was conceiveing every second as they passed. It was slack to keep track because my only focal point was Bella and how long she had been impoverished of consciousness. It had straightaway been exactly 39,9828384 seconds since we arrived at the hospital.Her discovert thrummed equally as her wind was beginning to slowly return to her. The sweet beebread that was her life fill the room with the delicious aroma. Craving the sweetness, I brought the feel into my lungs, allow my throat burst into flames.It was only two hours ago that she finished her second dec parenthood transfusion and I was afraid her scent would forever and a day be a pitiful imitation of the luscious bl ood pulsating through her body. It felt up like my body was under dismissal physical suffering owing to her condition. Her blood deficient was because of me a savage so monstrous that I preyed on this innocent creature by allowing her to be place a part of my life. more(prenominal) than that, she was my life.My ph whiz lightly vibrated in my jeans theca ?Cdistracting me from my internal torment and I pulled it turn bulge unwrap to read a message from Alice.Just picked Charlie up from the airport. shoot out be t here in foursometeen minutes.Snapping my phone shut, I got up to move to Bellas other side. With her mother here, I kept my distance, non absent to over step my bounds with a parental authority that I so recently metand especially under these circumstances.Charlie will be here shortly. Carlisle and Alice just picked him up from the airport, I said lightly.Its about time. Thats good, her eyes never remaining Bellas face.For over an hour onwards presently I was struggle to come over and talk with Rene. I inadequacyed to flush out a good yarn to tell her about why we were here in the first of all of all place. She got the gist of the story from the doctor about her going through a window after falling down two flights of stairs, but that was all.Mrs. Dwyer, I began.Such a gentlemanMrs. Dwyer. Her penetrating view moved from Bellas face to mine. Her eyes widened a little at my appearance. It always caught humans off guard, the little indications they didnt comprehend, no case how many propagation theyd gather inn one of us before. She studied my face for only a abbreviated second before she saw the grief that was displayed squarely on my face. Ignoring her senses she brought her thoughts to my expression. He really cares for her. He looks like he is going to cry.Rene, she corrected me.Yes, of course, Rene. I needed to apologize for this whole incident, I used my smoothest voice to relief her stress, one I retained for not alarmi ng humans.This isnt your fault, she began, but her thoughts caught up to her mouth. What was he doing down here anyways? He didntfollow her did he? Hes not a stalkeris he? She tried to smile courteously but even without her thoughts as a guide I could have guessed what she was currently animadverting.Her thoughts werent far off base. I was her vampire stalker, watching her cat sleep every wickedness. I continued, not wanting to think that once she recovered, this would be the endno more stealthily hiding in her room.Yes, it is my fault. I really care about your daughter, so please under assume that I want the best for herWhy are you here? She blurted out.When I brought her al-Qaida after playing baseball with my family she became upset. She really misses Arizona and after I confessed my feelings for her she became angry. The memory of her yelling at me flashed through my mind. Though she was acting, it catch exciteed to hear her say goodbye and slam the entre in my face which is lastly my worst alarm.His feelings? Hum, I wonder how some(prenominal) he actually cares for herI hope her fulfils arent because of memy pastbecause of my fear of her keeping in Forks. Nope, not his faultmine, all mine. She stared at me with her eyes filling with the sorrow of her thoughts, so I went on, attempt to distract her from her mental images. It was entirely my fault, not hers.When I found out she had run off to Arizonafrom a call she made to Alice, I had to fix it. Carlisle and Alice came with me to try and convince her to come back to Forks that we all issue and lose her.We all love her? Their relationship is a little more intense than I realized. Rene speculated.She agreed to meet us at our hotel room but she never made it. Carlisle was actually in the hallway acquiring ice when he perceive a meretricious crash. Alice and I heard it also, The look on my face showed pure agony at the thought, though this wasnt acting, this was how I truly felt. It was Bella sh e had tripped and gone through a window. We rushed to authorise grow Carlisle but he was already thither. All three of us helped fit the bleeding and get her to the hospital.Poor child. He must have been terrified out of his mind. Rene r to each oneed over to place her hand over mine. Thank you for relieve her.Thank Carlisle. Hes the doctor,Yes, but without you, he magnate not of been able to find out the bleeding in time, a tear slid down her face and the clean-living blanket covering Bella now had a wet spot from the drop allow.Edward, were here. Alice called out to me through her mind. I have to warn you, hes not happy. You might want to get out of there beforeThe door to the room flew open as Charlie came marching in, livid. His face was so screwed up in anger that all the blood had rushed to his face, covering it purple, like a daikon with a sun burn.This is all your fault, he pointed a finger at my chest, glide path closer and closer.I backed away from him, Im sorry. It was a cockamamy attempt, but it was all I could think to say with him advancing on me. I close knocked over my tray of food nothing more than a prop, really, but my mind was in such anguish that I wasnt pay attention.No, this is my fault, Rene thought while stepping in between us. She placed her hands on Charlies chest and began to push him towards the door.Mr. Swan, I I began.Rene interjected.Charlie, thats luxuriant. Lets talk outside, she commanded sternly.You wont ever put on my daughter again. Do you understand? Charlie continued to shout at me as Rene continued to heave against him until he was outside of the door.His threat was unnecessary because I had to leave her to let her live a peaceful life without all the peril. I backed slowly into the corner, sit down down on the chasten again. Bellas breath had picked up slightly the tempo of her knocker increasing, like she could sense the tension in the room.Watching her small chest lightly move and fall with each bre ath, seeing the blood flow seamlessly through her unadorned skin, listening to her heart which was echoed perfectly with the monitor all just forceful how delicate and precious she really was. I had to save her from the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed that finally made it to the surface when I tasted the rich bladderwrack of her blood. I was afraid that I wouldnt have enough discipline left wing to be somewhat her forever. Would all my efforts fail?Pushing my ever growth thoughts of going away from my mind ?C fighting tooth and nail against what I didnt want to be I undetermined my mind to the conversation that was now being shouted in the hall. Listening in on their conversation wasnt tricky in the least. They were barely standing outside the door and with their raised voices it was loud enough that even the humans could hear it.Charlie, calm down cover this instance Rene squall at him.You left him in there with our daughter. She left because of him, he growle d furiously with the protective concern, emitting a possessive case edge in his thoughts.I could witness his livid expression through Renes human eyes. non the best vision, but it would work. He was chastise, though she did leave because of me, because of the danger I placed her in. Looking at her limp form on the bed, her chocolate- brownness hair surrounding her glorious bruised face only brought more fear rippling and quivering through my stable form. I was gasping at the air like Id been suffocated.No. She left because of me If she wasnt so scared to fall in love in Forks than she wouldnt have run away in the first place. This is my fault, not his. If you want to blame someone, blame me, she retorted.You didnt hear the way she yelled at him. I flinched at the memory, my nerves stretching tight ?C guitar strings, tensed to resonate at the gentlest of pressure. She was so angry and upset, his voice had lower some, noticing all the attention on them. Charlie hated attention as much as Bella did. Wait, did you say love?Rene eyed the door automatically, picturing my hag-ridden face in her mind. Yes. I believe he loves her, she murmured.Well he stuttered. That still doesnt matterThey were trying to help. You get along our daughter, she is very clumsy. If it didnt happen now it probably would have happened in the future. Its better if it is when a qualified emergency room doctor is around, Rene rubbed his shoulders. I could hear her impatience at her ex-husband.Dr. Jones was still on duty and over heard part of the conversation in the hall. Must be her father the way he was yelling. He walked towards them. Hello, Im Dr. Jones. I am the one who worked on your daughter this afternoon.A nurse had followed tardily him and entered the room. She began taking Bellas vitals, not even realizing I was sitting in the corner. Her thoughts gruelling on the information she was writing down on the chart.I continued to listen to the conversation outside the door. Oh, he llo, yesIm Charlie, her father. Dr. Cullen told me she was in a medically induce coma?The light rhythmic movement of Bellas heart continued at a steadied beat, a little faster than when she was in a peaceful sleep. Again, I was weighing the seconds.Yes. She is healing nicely. Once her swelling goes down around her brain we will try and wake her, but it is stringently up to her body to decide when she is ready to awake from this coma, he verbalize firmly, except in a tone that would help ease his stress.Yes. Of course. I understand, Charlie rubbed his temples.Ill leave you alone. Let you have some time with your daughter, he murmured before walking away.Thanks, Charlie barely spoke.When the nurse swiveled around she finally saw me sitting there. Her heart jumped and began beating wildly. I didnt even see him sitting there.Oh, Im sorry. Im just leaving now, she began to walk towards the door. Now that I think about it she glanced over her shoulder. He is hot I might have to volunt eer to come back in here tonight. She finally opened the door nearly knocking over Charlie who had reached for the door at the same time.Standing, I opened my mouth to apologize again. Charlie held up a hand. No need.Rene continued to stand in the hall, uncertain if she needed to enter or not, worried that Charlie might decide to release some more of his fury on me.Ill leave you two alone, I mumbled while walking out of the room.Rene turned to get dinner, taking deep breaths while her thoughts were grumbling in complaint at Charlies behavior. And hes such a nice boyI just dont understand.As soon as the door clicked shut Alice was at my side.I see he calmed down. He was in a white rage in the car on the way over here. I thought I was going to have to restrain him he was so angry.I nodded, not speaking. I was still burning from the pain.I know what youre plan.I disregard her. Curiosity continued to eat at her as she walked next to me down the hall which was rich with the scent of bl each and plastic. She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what I was thinking that was fashioning the visions in her mind flash. My thoughts were burning, wishing I could know what was going through Bellas mind right now. Her mind was unlikeable to me, and now her eyes were too, the one link I had left to her internal knowledge.Everything is going to be okay, I can see it. She tried to comfort me.Still, I continued to walk silently next to her. Bellas oddly deep brown eyes were fixated in my irises which were crimson with fresh human blood. My contacts were beginning to burn away. Before I could ask Alice, she had another box placed in her palm.Here, lets not hurl Charlie any reasons to hate you more.Thanks, I replied dully.If I thought going on a single hunting trip leaving Bella behind, vulnerable was excruciating, the next twelve hours were worse. The extreme and generally prolonged pain and mental suffering were the most constant of my torments. But, the most painful of m y torments was Charlies possessive nature over his daughter. With him here, I was basically kicked out of her room, Rene constantly apologizing for his poor behavior.During the afternoon hours Alice and Rene would converse about everything from style to yoga classes, even though Alice has no need for yoga. Though I sat there, listening to their conversations, they continued to accommodate aware of how tightly wound I was, feeling the stress issue out of me without the special gift that Jasper has.Edward, Alice called from her mind around two in the afternoon. Charlie is going back to Forks. The officerswell, he is the police force, they need him back. He already received that call and will be on a skitter by five.This was the first decent news I had heard in days. Regardless, today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before because each second that I continued to count added to the time that her deep depths were closed, her mind locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Like Alice h ad predicted, Charlie came strolling around the corner to give us the news about his departure. He completely ignored me, but in his mind he was thinking daggers towards me. Daggers that would never pierce my cold, steel skin.Rene walked with Charlie out of the hospital, leaving Alice and I alone together.Lets go see Bella.Without answering her, I rose, walking quicker than human speed towards the room. Whenever Charlie wasnt taking up all of Bellas coma time, I was there, by her side. When I got the chance, I was holding her. Rene had stayed the night, and was planning on doing it again ?C something I wasnt terribly excited about.When we reached the door I opened it and was instantly hit with a spectacular scent wafting through the room. Each breath was profuse of fire which was also full of her life. I ignored the burning, pushed it in the back of my mind.There was a report on her bedside table. I picked it up to the page that was left open. It was a story that covered the arson of a ballet studio and theft of a car that was left outside. Anger pulsed through me at the thought of crowd together again, though I pushed it aside because another angry thought hit me. I wished that Rene hadnt known about this, because now she was too afraid to stay in her own home.My continuance of emotions ached for some kind of physical outlet, and yet the only outlet I had was now gone, dead. non todayAlice murmured. Shes not ready.My hopes plummeted at this news. She continued to watch the future which spun, twisted and became mangled again.I wishThis is obviously not the time to pack that up, I barked.I was just going to say I wish shed wake up soon, Alices eyes were wide with innocence, and I didnt believe it for a second.Looking at her eyes, I saw the reflection of my own eyes which were an odd brown, marshy color. Momentarily it caught me off guard, forgetting I was wearing the contacts, even though they continued to obstruct my perfect vision.I stole my eyes away fr om her to bring them back to Bellas limp and lumpy form. Her eyes were closed lightly, as if she were very peaceful. Her hair glinted in the bright white light over her face. My remorse and the guilt burned with the thirst, and, if I had the ability to produce tears, they would have filled my eyes. Each second that I continued to count reminded me of the precious disposition lying in the bed before us. She was so breakable, and I broke her, she was good and she didnt deserve my fate. My mind was bouncing around like a tennis ball, willing myself to stay away from her, to no longer let my life collide with hersdestroying it in the process.What have I done? As the hour passed my mind continually would titter on a line of right and wrong. First, my thoughts leaning one way, then the other. Alice was becoming irritated at my constant state of vivid flashes of the future which would crumble every time I changed my mind. Then, when I didnt think the burning could get worse, I imagined her vigilant up and kicking me out of her room. I had to remind myself that she had every right to hate me, to not trust me with her safety. That she should.Would you quit Alice shouted from mind. You arent going anywhere. I wont let you. Remember, you did save her life.Her thoughts were confusing and incomprehensible. Did I not place Bella in front of the danger that lurked around her until it struck? Wasnt this all my fault in the first place? Quickly, I decided that the best course of action was to ignore her thoughts.After an hour had passed Rene entered the room, her mind happily jumping from offspring to subject. What books she liked, her favorite movies, how she painted Bellas new room in Florida. Each second, I countedI angered even moremostly at myself. I tried ignoring Bella once, letting her go and it didnt work. I remember thinking that there were other options besides her ultimate doom. Now that I am sitting at her bedside, where she was on the brink of death nearly t wenty four hours ago, I realized that keeping her in the fragile state would unavoidably destroy her.I had to leave. Not now, but after she recovered. I did this, I have to clean it up. I wont leave her here, broken, without help.Ive had it Alice stood up. Rene, Im sorry, I have to go. Ill see you tomorrow.So soon? Rene stared at me. But hes not good company. I understand, dear. See you tomorrow.Surely it had to be miserable being around me, but if they understood my frustrations, my ever growing war that was raging inside me, then they would leave me alone. I argued with myself as the evening hours progressed, afraid my less portentous side would win the argument. To add to my ever growing torments, the silence emitting from Bella was torture me. Night after night I watched over her, and she spoke, tossed, turned, and murmured some more. Not last nightand not tonight.The mystery that surrounded Bella continued to make my curiosity flare. The lure of her unprotected and unconscio usly spoken thoughts were making me sick with regret. I should have stayed away and then tonight would have been like any other night when I went to visit her. I missed her murmurs, her spoken dreams and fears.The only sound from Bella was her light breathing, which had a little rale from her bruised ribs and her steady heart beat. I shook my head in fight off at what I had done to her. Though she was bruised and tubes and wiring seemed to be coming from her every orifice, she was still beautiful. Her dark hair was tangled wildly around her pale face.As the night progressed into the early morning hours, Rene never kicked me out. preferably she slept resolutely with Bellas hand in hers. Jealousy raged inside me at her touch. I wanted it to be me holding her hand, lying with her, comforting her. It was foolishness to think that we belonged together, even though I could never imagine myself without her, or with anyone else. She be happiness and love with whomever she chose, yet sh e chose methe cold inhuman creature that nigh brought her to her death.Could a dead frozen heart break? I felt like mine was.In an instant, a memory flooded my fast mind, making my mind teeter in yet another direction. That first evening I became the peeping tomBella, she was dreaming of me, mumbling my name.Stay, she sighed. Dont go. Pleasedont go.That was the night she changed me, the rare and permanent thing that you could never give back. It was love, and no matter how many years pass, hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands, I would forever love this one young lady.I gazed at her unconscious face, reminding myself of the love that had settled into every portion of my perdition body that night. If I loved her though, then I was backbreaking enough to leave her because that is what would be best. Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes, like I did this week, she could be killed. Though, it would not be intentional, only a horrible accident . Obviously, I am capable of making mistakes. In only an half hour of speaking with her for the first time I slipped up twice.Deliberately, I took in a deep breath, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. With each breath, I let it remind myself of the monster that was living deep inside me. Though he was gone, missing right now, I knew he was still there, sending waves of fire through my throat.Rene was sleeping soundly now, dreaming about a hogback riding class she had that was a little bizarre. Still, I continued to count the seconds as the sun rose over the mountainous horizon. I closed the vertical blinds so my skin wouldnt sparkle. Again, I felt my contacts disintegrate and had to deputise them. In the bathroom, my eyes still were bright red with Bellas blood. Another reminder of the damage I inflicted upon her by being with her.I felt my pocket vibrate and reached in to grab my phone. It was nine in the morning. It had now almost been two days of a still, unmoving beauty lying in this bed, comatose. I read the message.Bella will awake at 913. Thought Id give you the heads up so you could wake Rene so she could get her breakfast. It will give you time to be alone with Bella.A great relief blossom forth over me at this news. The seconds I would no longer have to count because she would be awake, talking to me. Purposefully, I dropped my phone, the sound vibrated off the walls in the petty room. Rene jumped to her feet.Whats going on? Wheres Grace? she mumbled, her face bewildered.I had to suppress a laugh. Grace? I asked.Dream, she muttered. That horse scares the living fire out of meAgain, my cockamamy state was hard to control. My lips twitched on the edges at the thought of her waking.They are service of process breakfast, I offered.Oh course, he wants time alone with her. Yes, breakfast sounds nice.Rene left with one last glance over her shoulder before shutting the door. curling up onto Bellas bed, I held her hand while watching the cl ock. The seconds were going by slower. The last minute before her awakening seemed to take twiceno three times as long. Each second that ticked by had my thoughts dissemination in every direction. Now that I knew she would be awake soon, the thought of leaving her was inconceivable. I would always love this fragile human girl for the rest of my limitless existence. I gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my cold steel body. If I wasnt strong enough to leave her maybe I was strong enough to form a new future.She moaned while her eyes fluttered.Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.